Hoover Wind Tunnel
by SeraphimEclipse
Summary: [AU] A humorous oneshot about Miroku and his 'Wind Tunnel' during present day.


Hoover Wind Tunnel ™  
  
AU Miroku says his 'Kazaana' is so strong that it will suck him up if he doesn't use it properly. Kagome, and Sango start to worry about him... But is this 'Kazanna' really what they think it is? [One Shot]  
  
"Oi! Kagome!"  
  
The sophomore turned around. "Inu Yasha! So, how did you do?!"  
  
Inu Yasha walked next to her with his hands rested on either side of his head, and his fingers linked together. He sighed. "I aced all but one..."  
  
"You what?! How did you manage to ace all the finals except one?! (AN: Inu Yasha's a bit OOC)" Kagome exclaimed, she barely got by with any of them.  
  
"That's exactly what I want to know! I mean I crammed for the past month in Advanced Calculus, and I end up missing a half point!" Inu Yasha complained, he was one of the smartest kids in the sophomore class. He took all AP (advanced placement) classes.  
  
Kagome looked at him. "That's not what I meant! Oh Nevermind! So, what did you forget to do?"  
  
Inu Yasha moved his hands and crossed them in front of his chest. "I didn't show any work! I didn't need to do any work! I did it in my head! I swear these teachers these days!"  
  
Kagome's eyes bulged. "Y-you did an advanced Calculus problem in your head?! I thought you had to write it down on paper!"  
  
"Well, I don't have too! Lets hurry! We have to meet Miroku and his new girlfriend at some café, I heard they had an all you can eat ramen buffet!" Inu Yasha said the last part like a little kid when they were excited about getting a new toy or a piece of candy.  
  
Kagome rolled her eyes. "Oh no! I must hurry or I will deprive my poor Inu Yasha of his ramen!"  
  
Inu Yasha glared at her. Of course, he glared at people a lot, especially when boys tried to look at 'his' Kagome. "Very funny, lets go." He held out his hand.  
  
Kagome held his hand and walked out of school talking to Inu Yasha about how he might get to skip his junior year and go straight to senior.  
  
How Inu Yasha, the smartest kid in the school got to know and go out with Kagome, a not so smart student is a mystery to some, but not to all. Kagome was failing in a lot of class due to a sickness she had, so her teacher hooked her up with Inu Yasha to give her tutoring. They weren't very friendly at first, Kagome felt like she was trying to tame a wild lion. Eventually, they worked out their differences, Inu Yasha being smart, him being only half human, and many other things on his account. After a half year of tutoring, Kagome was now getting C's, B's and A's instead of D's and F's. After their first dance together, they fell happily in love, and well the rest is a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo.  
  
Everyone was seated at the table, Inu Yasha was mad because he had to wait to eat since the others had to wait to get their food. Inu Yasha was the only one of the four who liked ramen.  
  
"So, Miroku, I take it this is your new girlfriend, are you going to date her or throw her in the pile of girls who are crying because you dumped them?" Kagome asked while fiddling around with her straw.  
  
"Keh, he hasn't dated a girl for more than a week since he was seven years old." Inu Yasha commented.  
  
Miroku cleared his throat. "Ahem, Sango and I have been going out for a month, I just never told you."  
  
Kagome looked over at Sango. "I-is this true!?"  
  
Sango blushed and nodded. "You got a problem with that?!"  
  
Kagome shook her head. "N-no of course not!"  
  
Kagome leaned over and whispered into one of Inu Yasha's fuzzy dog-ears. "He got himself a feisty one this time!"  
  
Inu Yasha nodded back and whispered in her ear back. "Tell me about it!" Before he backed away, he gave her neck a little bite, which caused her let out a squeak.  
  
Ten minutes later...  
  
Inu Yasha had his head on the table. "When is your food going to get here?!"  
  
Kagome shrugged and sighed. "I don't know Inu Yasha, I don't know..."  
  
Ten more minutes later.  
  
"Damn Kagome! What did you monk and killer order!?" Inu Yasha yelled.  
  
"Excuse me!" Sango yelled. "I am not a killer!"  
  
Inu Yasha mumbled under his breath. "You sure seem like on to me..."  
  
"What did you say?!" Sango yelled again.  
  
Twenty more minutes later.  
  
"Ramen...ramen...ramen..."  
  
Kagome sweat-dropped. "Inu Yasha, its only been 40 minutes since we ordered!"  
  
Inu Yasha was banging his head on the table. "It hurts..."  
  
"What?" Kagome asked.  
  
"Its right over there!" Inu Yasha nudged his head in the direction of the ramen. "Its so close, but yet so far!"  
  
Kagome patted Inu Yasha on the head. "Poor Inu Yasha..."  
  
Thirty more minutes later...  
  
*Sniff* "I-I want my ramen!!! Wahhhh! We've waited over an hour! Why is this taking so long?! Wahhhh!" Inu Yasha cried.  
  
"And time!" Miroku said.  
  
Inu Yasha glared at him. "What do you mean time?!"  
  
Sango giggled. "When you left after you ordered to go to the men's room, we didn't order anything!" Sango started to laugh hysterically. "We wanted to see how long it would take you to crack!"  
  
"You mean to tell me that you were torturing me!?" Inu Yasha screamed at the top of his lungs.  
  
"Inu Yasha, calm down! You're embarrassing me!" Kagome yelled at him.  
  
Inu Yasha gave Kagome a glare. "I hate you all!"  
  
Finally, Inu Yasha got his ramen.  
  
"Hey guys, I found something I could brag about!" Miroku told everyone.  
  
"Like what? A world record for groping the most female butts?" Kagome remarked.  
  
Miroku shook his head. "Nope! I just got a Kazaana. Its very powerful, it could suck all of us up!" Miroku told them.  
  
Inu Yasha, Sango and Kagome back away from Miroku as quickly as possible.  
  
"Are you going to die!?" Sango exclaimed.  
  
"Die? Why would I-"  
  
"Oh my god!" Kagome exclaimed. "How long do you have left?!"  
  
"It has a thirty day warranty-"  
  
"Eeek! You only have thirty more days to live!" Sango panicked.  
  
"No, my Kazaana-"  
  
"This isn't good!" Kagome yelled. She turned to Inu Yasha. "What do you think?!"  
  
"You seriously think Miroku has an actual Kazanna?" Inu Yasha couldn't believe how stupid they were acting.  
  
"Of course we do!" Both the girls yelled.  
  
Inu Yasha just sighed, did they really think that Miroku had an actual Kazanna? Of course... then again... maybe he did. Miroku had been acting really strange for the past few days. "Miroku! You really do have a Kazanna!"  
  
"No I don't its just a-"  
  
Sango started to cry. "Miroku, isn't there anything you can do?! You only have 30 days left to live!"  
  
Kagome started to tear up as well. "You didn't have to hide it from us; we will all go through with it together! You won't be alone!"  
  
"I too shall help you Miroku!" Inu Yasha stated.  
  
"But you guys its just a-"  
  
"Can we see it Miroku?" Sango asked.  
  
Kagome nodded. "Yes, please, it will make us all feel better."  
  
"Where's it located Miroku?"  
  
"In my basement..."  
  
"Dear god!" Kagome exclaimed. "How terrible!"  
  
"Imagine! A Kazanna on your butt! It must be painful."  
  
Miroku wasn't exactly sure what to say.  
  
"Let us all go to your house to see the Kazanna!"  
  
Miroku was getting scared. "Are you sure? I mean its just a-"  
  
"Lets go!" All three of them shouted.  
  
***At Miroku's House**  
  
They all walked into the basement.  
  
"Miroku, why are we in your basement? We could've done it in the bathroom..." Said Kagome.  
  
"Why do you people want to see my butt!?"  
  
"I want to know how big it is!" Sango said.  
  
"Hold on here!" Miroku shouted. He walked over to his closet and pulled out a vacuum cleaner. He pointed to the title. "I want all of you to read this."  
  
"Hoover Wind Tunnel..." They all said.  
  
"Wait a minute!" Said Kagome, "You mean to tell us that you got us all worked up over a vacuum cleaner?!"  
  
Sango kicked Miroku in the shin. "How dare you toy with our feelings like that!"  
  
Miroku turned to Inu Yasha. "What about you?"  
  
"Keh, I was just playing along. It was fun, I have a Wind Tunnel at home too."  
  
Miroku just sighed. Why did his friends make his life so hard?  
  
**Finished!!**  
  
^^; Just a stupid little plot I got in my head after I was sweeping the floor with out 'Hoover Wind Tunnel.' I thought I would make this little comedy. 


End file.
